Through Time's Eyes
by asouldreams
Summary: John begins to learn that his mother, Beverly Picard was non-other than Beverly Crusher and his father...Beverly is confronted by 'old' friends and explains why she is on Danion, why she left Starfleet and who her son really is.  JLP/BC


_A/N: Another story unearthed from my archives, written over 15 years ago, and left to sit in the depths of my computer since then. Thought I'd share, and sincerely hope you enjoy._

**Through Time's Eyes**

The door slammed shut and was immediately followed by a child's pounding footsteps. Smiling, she gently laid the pen aside and closed her journal just as her son skidded to a stop. His chestnut hair slightly damp, and his hazel eyes shone bright with excitement. "Mom. I had the best day." Pausing, he glanced around as if he was searching for something. "Where's dad?"

"Your father went to the market for some fresh fruit. May I ask why your day was so wonderful?"

"Well, we went to the museum today. It was filled with all kinds of neat things. Starships, phasers, and even something called automobiles. There was a," He scrunched up his face, "replica, yeah that's the right word. A replica of the famous starship named Enterprise."

"Which Enterprise? There is more than one."

"The one with Captain Jean-Luc Picard..."

* * *

><p>oxox<p>

* * *

><p>5 years later...<p>

"Mom?"

"Yes, John."

A tall, lanky body appeared from around the door. He paused a moment, feeling a little unsure about his decision. He squared his shoulders and sat across from his mother. "Mom, I...how long were you in Starfleet?"

"Twenty-three years." John didn't miss her questioning eyes.

"Why did you leave?"

"I decided to leave Starfleet, because I wanted to settle down and start a family. I, also, wanted to have a small private practice. I could do neither of those things while I remained in Starfleet."

"So, Starfleet no longer held what you wanted?"

"Yes, you could say that. Why?"

"Do you think Starfleet is the place for me?"

"I don't know John. What do you think? Do you think Starfleet is the place for you?"

His gaze strayed from her azure eyes to the sky outside. "Yes."

"Why?"

The mother watched her son's gaze of awe as he stared into the sky, "Because I want to see everything there is to see. I want to discover unexplored worlds, resurrect ancient cultures...I want to see." His eyes snapped back to his mother's face. "I guess I just want to be in the stars."

"If that is what you want, then go get it."

John stood up, and bent over his mother placing a kiss on her forehead. "Thanks mom." She watched her son leave the room. He was proud, stubborn, and very passionate about things he loved. He was his father's son.

"Beverly?"

"Yes?" She called out to her approaching husband.

"Is something wrong?"

* * *

><p>oxox<p>

* * *

><p>15 years later...<p>

"Eric Sanders was a kind, gentle ..."

Beverly felt a comforting hand rest upon her shoulder. She did not have the heart to turn her head, nor the desire. She continued to stare straight ahead, looking past the ghastly sight before her.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust..."

After the service came to a close, Beverly took a deep breath and approached her husband's coffin with tear filled eyes.

"Mom?" Slowly, Beverly turned around and looked into her son's hazel eyes. John stepped up and embraced her. Beverly buried her head into her son's shoulder as the tears overcame her.

* * *

><p>Oxox<p>

* * *

><p>1 year later...<p>

John knocked on the front door. "Mom?"

"I'm in here John."

Beverly looked up at her son as he stepped into the living room. No longer was he the small boy tearing around the corner, instead he stood before her a grown man. The years had gone by fast, John was already twenty-seven.

"I have to get going. I have a meeting with Admiral Riker at Headquarters tomorrow, and if I'm going to make the meeting, I need to leave within the next hour."

Beverly smiled, "William T. Riker?"

John's eyes furrowed in confusion, "Do you know Admiral Riker?"

"A long time ago, I meet him. Except, that was when he was still a Commander."

John sat down and just starred at his mom. When he first joined Starfleet, he used to ask his mother to tell him stories about her Starfleet career. She never gave him any detailed descriptions, she only said that she went to Starfleet Medical and became a doctor. "When you were in Starfleet?"

The smile began to fade, "Yes."

John noticed how the light in her mother's vanished, and she began to become slightly agitated. She was trying to hide her feelings, but he could still detect them. He smiled at his mom, "Is there something wrong?"

Her eyes softened as a sad smile graced her features. She extended her hand and lightly touched his jaw. Beverly took a deep breath as she looked at her son. "No. Just a lot of memories." Sighing, she pushed the memories away, "There was a rumor when I met Commander Riker that he and a Lieutenant Commander Troi would resolve their differences and eventually get married. Do you know if the two were married?"

John just shook his head, "Yes, they've been married for almost thirty years." He paused, "There is a legend behind their marriage."

"Well, why don't you tell me the legend the next time you visit? Because, if you miss your meeting, I'll never here the end of it."

"All right." He leaned over, and gently placed a kiss on her cheek. "Are you sure you are going to be okay? I know the doctor said.."

She stood up, and the sparkle in her eyes told John that whatever she was about to say was in jest. "Ohh, you know what the doctor said? Well, young man, I'm getting older. That's all. Now, get out of here. I have my own patients to attend, and if you keep lagging around, I won't have time to see them all today."

"Yes, Ma'am. And I'll talk to you soon, mom. I love you."

"Take care of yourself. I love you too."

* * *

><p>Oxox<p>

* * *

><p>Admiral William T. Riker smiled at his wife, "Will, would you like to meet for lunch?"<p>

"I'd love to, but I have a meeting with a Commander Sanders."

"Alright, but don't forget our dinner this evening with Worf, Data, Geordi and Leaha."

"Sir, Commander Sanders is here."

"Send him in." Riker turned back to Deanna. "I promise, I'll be there."

The door to his office opened and Commander Sanders walked in. "Sorry, Admiral and Ambassador. Your secretary.."

Admiral Riker just waved his hand, "Don't worry, Commander. Come in and have a seat. Deanna, I'll see you later."

She turned to leave when her eyes fastened on Commander Sanders' profile. He looked so familiar, Deanna turned to Will and mouthed _Jean-Luc._ From the look in his eyes she knew that he saw the resemblance too. "Excuse me Commander. I know this may sound odd and you do not have to answer this, but I was wondering who your parents are?"

"My parents?" Sanders raised his eyebrows and frowned, "Eric and Beverly Sanders."

"How long have they been married?"

"They would have been married twenty-five years this fall, however, my father died last year."

"I'm sorry to hear that Commander."

John forced a smile to his face, "Thank you Ambassador."

While Deanna was offering her condolences, Will did a few quick calculations. "Commander, what was your mother's maiden name?"

"Picard. Beverly Picard."

Will and Deanna both felt as though a phaser had been set off at point blank range. "Beverly Picard?" Deanna choked out.

"Are the two of you alright?"

Deanna felt her legs begin to buckle, "Yes, I just need to take a seat." She sat down and locked eyes with her husband. "Will, do you think it is possible?"

"Excuse me, may I inquire what the two of you are talking about?"

Admiral Riker was the first to speak. "We served with a woman by the name of Beverly Howard Crusher for eleven years." John turned his attention to the Admiral, though, what the Admiral began talking about was Starfleet lore. "I know you must have heard the stories while attending the Academy. But I will add a few details that are not part of the legend.

"We served under the famous Jean-Luc Picarrd. He and Beverly, along with nine other members of the Enterprise crew, attended a conference on Bajor. While they were returning, the shuttle experienced structural problems. We received their emergency hail, and I can still remember the captain's face.

"Will, we are experiencing structural problems and are heading toward Kalean IV.

"Everyone on the bridge watched the exchange, but despite the imminent danger we all felt as though we were going to save them." He paused as he looked at Deanna and gathered the strength to continue on. "We arrived at Kalean IV, only to find the shuttle completely disintegrated. We identified and recovered partial remains of two of the eleven bodies. We never found the other nine bodies, or even partial remains of those bodies."

Deanna's rich voice interceded. "What we are saying is that the name Beverly Picard is impossible. Unless, of course, she was married to Jean-Luc Picard, because Jean-Luc was the last Picard."

John just shook his head in disbelief, "No, no. My mother is not the famous Beverly Crusher. Yes, she is a doctor, but..."

"Well, it is very easy to determine one way or another. We'll call her on subspace."

Sanders chuckled, "That would be the easy thing to do, but mother does not use subspace."

Deanna stood, "Will, call up Beverly's picture from the Starfleet database."

Riker punched in a few codes and the terminal before him came to life. As Beverly's file came up, he turned it toward Sanders. "Is this your mother?"

Sanders took two steps forward and gazed at the picture. The woman looked similar to his mother, but he found himself saying, "No. That isn't her. I am sorry."

As the Admiral and Ambassador spoke, John starred at the picture a moment longer. Could that be his mother? He had often seen pictures of Beverly Crusher while he was at the Academy, but when he looked at those pictures they never brought his mother to mind. But what if it was his mother?

"Admiral, Ambassador," He paused unsure if he should continue on. "Maybe I shouldn't say this, but the two of you seem to care a lot for Dr. Crusher. My mother may be Dr. Crusher, I just don't know. If I had to say yes or no by the picture alone, I'd be forced to say no. However, its not that simple." Sanders stood up and walked past both the Admiral and the Ambassador and stared out the window.

Deanna watched the play of emotions wash across Sanders face before he began looking out the window. She watched Sanders grapple with his thoughts, as her husband came to stand by her.

"She was, no she is a wonderful doctor. For years I was in awe of my mother. A messanger use to come to our house when a disaster struck or when someone simply needed medical attention. Mom would fly out of the house and father and I would not see her until everyone was alright. She use to inferiorate father because she cared about their welfare over her own. I admired her strength, but being so unselfish has taken its toll on her. She can barely stand now because of the deteriorating disks in her lower back.

"I use to ask her where she was trained, and she said she learned at Starfleet Medical. I would ask her to tell me stories about when she was in Starfleet, and she used to say, "there is nothing spectacular for me to tell you about. I am a doctor who spent most of my career doing research which is one reason why I left." Yet, her strength and passion inspired me to go after whatever I dreamed, and she never held me back.

"However, when I watched her..." His voice began to shake. "Nothing phased her. Nothing." He turned and faced Deanna and Will. "I understand that Starfleet Medical trains their doctors well, but if she didn't do anything but research after graduating from the Starfleet, wouldn't she be out of practice when she began practicing medicine on her own? For example, an unknown viral strain struck the colony and she didn't panic. We sent word to Starfleet to have them send help, however, by the time they arrived mom had found a cure and inoculated everyone with it. When the doctors looked at the research, they were astounded. Yet, when they would want to meet her, no one could find her.

"I doubt she is Beverly Crusher, but she could be."

* * *

><p>oxox<p>

* * *

><p>One week later...<p>

Commander John Sanders walked up to the front door of his mother's house with Admiral and Ambassador Riker in tow. "Mom?" Cautiously, John opened the door, "Mom?" He held his breath a moment before, no answer. "She must be out, but she didn't lock up. She'll be back shortly, come in."

Beverly slowly ascended the hill to her house. As she reached the crevice, she took a moment to glance around her and soak in the beautiful landscape. The sun was setting to the west, casting long shadows across the land and exquisitely painting the sky with oranges, reds, purples, and blues. These days are what make life worth living.

Beverly gingerly set her body in motion, trying to ignore the pain in her back as she walked. As she approached the back door, she noticed lights on in the house. She thought back to this morning, nope, I didn't leave them on. She opened and closed the door quietly. Immediately upon entering the house, she heard John's voice. Instantly, a smile crept onto her face and she headed in the direction of his voice. She tried to take the smile off her face as she stepped into the room, "John, what are you doing back so..."

The air left Beverly's lungs as she stared in shock at ghosts from her past, William Riker and Deanna Troi. Thousands of thoughts sped through Beverly's mind within a nanosecond as she stared at the two of them.

"Mom, this is Admiral and Ambassador Riker."

Yanking her eyes from away, she turned to her son and quietly answered. "Yes, I know who they are."

Deanna found her voice before Will, "Beverly? What? I thought...we thought..."

Beverly looked at her old friend, and all the reasons why she had not kept contact with them rushed to the surface, but it was so good to see her. "You thought I was dead."

Despite her age, Deanna moved across the room in a second with tears streaming down her face as she embraced her friend. "God, where have you been? Why didn't you...?" Deanna stopped and pulled away from Beverly and looked at her questioningly. Tears were pouring down Beverly's face, but not from joy rather from a deep anguish. "Beverly?"

Beverly felt her world spinning around her as tears poured from her eyes. She held onto Deanna, she was her lifeline. She felt herself mumbling, "I need to sit down."

"I've got her." John carefully scooped his mother into his arms and set her down on the couch in the living room, then he turned to the Ambassador and Admiral, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"No." Her voice was sharp, cutting. Beverly did not look up as her voice softened and continued on, "John, they are old friends of mine."

Deanna could feel her friend's pain, "God Beverly, what happened?"

"I think..." She paused and closed her eyes. She could see all six of them sitting at the poker table the night before they left. Data was dealing the cards, trying to tell his latest joke. Geordi was petting Spot, Will was laughing about his latest run of luck, Deanna's face was a mask of concentration so that she could hide her feelings for Will, Jean-Luc was quietly assessing his chances at the next hand but his eyes locked onto hers and she wanted to tell him how she felt. "There are some things I need to tell you, all of you."

John looked at her questionly, but held his tongue for the sake of his mother. Both Will and Deanna sat across from her with questioning eyes.

"John, there is a lot of things from my past that I never spoke of. Yes, I was the notable Beverly Howard Crusher."

John began shaking his head. "No...you lied..."

"I never lied to you, John. Why do you think I avoided talking about my past to you." She slid to the edge of the couch and took her son's hand in her own. "There are a lot reasons why I never told you about my past." She paused as she glanced at Deanna and Will. "It was a long time ago, but." She paused as her eyes glazed over. "It seems like yesterday."

"Beverly, what happened to you?" Deanna's eyes held concern and compassion.

A faint smile spread across her face, "My life changed."

"Mom, why didn't you say anything?"

"Say anything to who?" She leaned back against the couch to give support to her lower back.

"Father, me..."

"Eric knew the truth, and he knew my reluctance to talk about my past. I wanted to put it behind me and start a new life. He helped to build that life."

"When did you meet Eric?" Will asked.

"Let me explain everything from the beginning."

"If you don't want to talk about it, Beverly, you don't have to." Deanna interjected, sensing her friend's turmoil.

"It was twenty-eight years ago; while attending the conference on Bajor...

* * *

><p>oxox<p>

* * *

><p>..."Beverly."<p>

Beverly stopped walking down the hall, as she turned around to see who was calling her name. Jean-Luc came walking toward her, with a smile spread across his face.

"Jean-Luc, how are you?"

"Fine, and yourself?"

"Fine."

They began walking down the hall together, trying to displace the tension between them with small talk. "How have your conferences gone? I haven't had the opportunity to speak with you."

"The conferences I have been attending have been very informative. How have your conferences gone?"

"A little dry." Jean-Luc stole a glance at Beverly, "But that is to be expected."

She smiled at his comment, "How many do you have left to attend?"

"I have one left which starts in about ten minutes, and then I am free until we leave tomorrow afternoon." He began to slow down, and Beverly stopped and faced him. "Do you have any conferences this evening?"

"No, I only have one left as well. It starts in a little over an hour."

"Would you like to go to dinner this evening?"

"Only if you promise an early dinner, I'm exhausted."

"Exhausted?"

"Yes, and I'll explain it to you over dinner since I haven't seen you for the past two days."

"I'll pick you up at 1800 hundred."

"I'll be waiting."

"See you this evening."

Jean-Luc was two steps away, when he spoke again almost as an afterthought. "Oh, and dress casually."

"Jean-Luc?"

"I'll see you later."

The conference was interesting, but Beverly found her attention wandering. She could not focus on what the speaker was saying. Instead, she found herself thinking of a certain Starfleet captain.

The speaker ended, and Beverly had to force herself to remain seated. It would appear extremely bad for the speaker if one of Starfleet's finest doctors did not stay throughout the entire seminar which included the question and answer session.

The question and answer period took as long as the speaker, and ...she was running extremely late. She no sooner stepped out of the shower when the proximity alarm sounded.

"Come in." She yelled from the bathroom as she wrapped her hair in a towel.

"Beverly?"

"I'm in here. Can you give me ten minutes, Jean-Luc? My conference ran longer than expected."

"Your clock is ticking."

"You are so kind Captain."

Hurriedly, Beverly changed into a flowing cream skirt and blue blouse. She looked in the mirror and sighed, she needed a lot longer than 5 minutes to appear presentable. Oh-well, she thought as she casted one final glance at the mirror. It's too late now.

Stepping into the living area, she spotted Picard in the corner flipping thru a book. He was wearing a low V-cut, short-sleeve teal shirt with painted on beige pants...

* * *

><p>Xoxo<p>

* * *

><p>"...During dinner, we held polite conversation catching up the other's conferences and other idle mindless talk. After dinner, he surprised me and asked me to dance. I agreed and was subsequently swept off my feet. The music started and the rest of the restaurant's patrons faded into the background. I could only focus on him. We glided across the dance floor, flowing in perfect sync with the music. The music stopped as he spun me back to him, and the entire place erupted with applause. I thought he would be embarrassed because of the sudden publicity, however, he bowed deeply. We continued dancing for hours, both of us lost in our own thoughts, however, the night skidded to an abrupt to stop when an ensign interrupted the two of us handing Jean-Luc a data padd. The station commander was requesting his presence for a diplomatic envoy.<p>

"We bid each other good night, and we decided to meet for breakfast before the shuttle departed the following morning. Jean-Luc ended up calling me about an hour later, and apologized in advance because he was going to have to cancel breakfast. The diplomatic envoy was not arriving for another three hours, and his presence was required. I kept telling myself the following morning that nothing was changing between the two of us, however, in my heart I knew I was lying to myself. Things were changing, whether or not I cared to admit it. The years of denial were withering away and replacing themselves with years of unrequited love. I was in love with Jean-Luc Picard. Upon admitting to my love for Jean-Luc, the morning seemed to go perfectly. The bleak, boring future suddenly appeared intriguing and wonderful.

"I arrived at the runabout shortly before take off, and immediately sought Jean-Luc out. After checking both the forward and rear compartments, I realized we were waiting on him. He did not arrive until twenty minutes after our original departure time. One look at his face and tightened jaw, I knew better than make any comments, however I did any ways." Beverly's face lit up as she spoke, she could see his sour face as he walked thru the docking ring. The rest of the crew members scurried out of his way, while she approached him.

"Decided to sleep in?" She asked quietly.

His hazel eyes narrowed at the remark, "Unfortunately, no. Unlike you, I was up and working last night."

Beverly's remark died away as she realized her friend had been up for well over twenty-four hours. Her concern evident in her voice, "What happened?"

Picard ducked as he stepped into the back of the shuttle and headed toward the pilot's area. "The diplomatic envoy arrived several hours later than originally planned, and then upon arrival they wished," Picard paused and locked eyes with Crusher. "Correction, he demanded that the great 'Captain Picard' must regal him with adventurous stories."

"Once we take off, why don't you program the autopilot and sleep for a few hours en-route to the Enterprise?"

They both sat down and began keying in the proper sequences to depart. "Actually, I was wondering if you'd join me for an early lunch. Since I cancelled out on breakfast."

"A short lunch, because you need some sleep."

"Beverly, I will sleep when we return to the Enterprise."

"Jean-Luc, once we are back on the Enterprise, Riker will..."

"Insist on updating me with ship's business." Jean-Luc finished with her. His rich laugh echoing in the small cockpit. They spoke for hours recounting various adventures while eating lunch...

* * *

><p>oxox<p>

* * *

><p>"We were sitting in the cockpit when all the alarms began to sound. We hit a quantum energy field which was causing the titanium hall to buckle. Jean-Luc sent a transmission to you, Will, stating our need for assistance and our change in course to Kalean IV. I remember thinking that when we got out of the mess, it would become another one of our adventures we could laugh at. However, we weren't that lucky.<p>

"Our right thruster caught an energy discharge. The hull began to rip apart and our eyes locked. The sudden panic in his eyes mirrored my own and as the air rushed out of the runabout, we reached across the distance and interlocked our hands. A blue light enveloped us and the cold space vanished.

"I awoke to a crackling fire and the chill of night air. When I sat up, I noticed the headache pounding in my head. Jean-Luc was leaning...

* * *

><p>oxox<p>

* * *

><p>...over and stoking the fire.<p>

"How long?"

He glanced up, "I don't know. I only woke a few hours ago, myself."

"Where are we?" Beverly put a hand to her head, hoping to push the headache away.

"I don't know. I have Ensigns Chilton and Roven along with Lieutenant Posh scouting the area."

Beverly stepped closer to the fire, "Drend, Collon, Pesi, and Niol are dead?"

He nodded and then wrapped his arm around his rib cage as he sat down on a log about ten feet from the fire. The gesture did not go unnoticed by Crusher, nor did the slight crease of pain that flashed across his face.

She hurried toward him, "Jean-Luc, are you okay?" She asked as she knelt next to him.

"I believe several of my ribs are cracked. I am having trouble breathing deeply."

"Take off your shirt."

Jean-Luc slowly unzipped the zipper, however, Beverly had to help him out of his tunic. After several curses being exchanged between the two of them, they managed to take his shirt off.

"Can you move a little closer to the fire, Jean-Luc?" He looked at her questioningly. "I need the light to see."

He rose and inched closer, "How is your head, Doctor?"

"Sore, how did..."

"You have a large gash on the right side of your head that I cleaned when I woke. I was hoping there was no damage to the brain."

She began to examine his ribs and lightly press on the skin. "Were you able to find any medical supplies?"

Picard inhaled deeply as she touched his sore ribs, "No."

She straightened and met his hazel eyes. "You have three broken ribs, but I cannot be certain whether there is any internal damage."

Picard could see the worry in her eyes for him. He placed his hands on her shoulders, "I'm fine." He smiled. "A little sore, but I'm alright."

He watched as she bit her quivering lip and nodded. He reached his arms around her, pulling her into his strong embrace. He felt her hot tears run down his chest as he rocked her back and forth. Finally she stopped shaking and pulled back to look into his eyes. "Thank you."

His response was a smile. Time stopped as they gazed into each other's eyes on an unknown planet. Both were happy to be alive and in each other's company. They found themselves leaning toward the other, meeting halfway to share a tentative first kiss. Beverly pulled away and watched the flickering firelight dance across his face enhancing his aristocratic features. She slid her hands down his waist, relishing the feeling of his smooth muscles, except when her hand brushed over his ribs he shrunk away from her while his face twisted in pain.

"I'm sorry."

He closed his eyes, taking a few breaths to steady himself. "Don't be."

"I should wrap your chest." She stood but felt a restraining hand grasp her forearm.

"Help me stand." She reached down and wrapped her arm around his waist. She helped him stand and walk toward the log.

"Don't sit down yet. It'll be easier if you stand while I wrap your ribs."

"What are you going to wrap them with?"

She bent over and picked up his shirt. "This. Hope you don't mind, I'll replicate you a new one when we get back to the Enterprise. I want to use your shirt because your captain's jacket is larger. It won't be as constraining as your tunic." She started ripping his shirt into long strips.

"Looks like I don't have a choice."

"Nope. Now raise your arms."

Sighing, he picked his arms up, placing his hands behind his head.

"Sir," The three crewmen approached from a short distance. Beverly watched the play of emotions run across his face as they approached. She knew how he hated appearing vulnerable, which was precisely how he appeared. She began wrapping his rib cage while they approached.

"Report." Picard's voice wavered as Beverly continued wrapping his ribs.

"We appear to be on a barren planet, sir. There are no signs of civilization in the immediate area. We found bits and pieces of the runabout, and we salvaged a phaser and a few other instruments. Hopefully enough to build a transponder and send a distress call."

Beverly tied the final knot, "Done."

"It is good to see you up and about, Doctor." Ensign Chilton stated.

"Thank you, Sandra. Are you alright?" Crusher indicated the bloodstain on Sandra's arm.

"The captain cleaned and wrapped the wound, it isn't bad doctor."

Beverly looked at the captain, questioningly before turning back to Sandra. "We'll put fresh bandages on it in the morning."

"Thank you, Doctor." She turned to the captain, "Sir, are you alright?"

The captain caught Crusher's eyes as he spoke. "I have a few fractured ribs. Nothing to worry over." Beverly understood why Picard was underplaying his injuries; he didn't want to alarm his crew even if it meant a little discomfort for himself. "Did you find any water sources while you were out?"

"A fresh water river is about 8k to the north."

"Alright, we'll take what we managed to salvage up the river and build a temporary shelter in the morning. Until we manage to send a distress signal or a search party finds us, we need to get out of the weather and find food. Tonight, we stay put and rest."

They all nodded and walked toward the fire. Beverly and Jean-Luc opted to sit on the ground and lean against the log and stare at the fire from a distance. "Do you think we'll be able to send a distress signal?"

"I don't know how much of the equipment they were able to salvage. I'll take a look at it in the morning and have a better idea then."

Unconsciously, Beverly leaned her head on Jean-Luc's shoulder. "They're scared."

He bent down and kissed the top of her head, "They aren't the only ones." He whispered and went on to explain. "When the shuttle buckled, I noticed the sensor readings before we were drifting through space."

Beverly sat up, "What is it?"

"There were displacement fields inside the quantum disturbances."

"What?"

"I think we are inside of one of those displacement fields, meaning we are existing outside of our time and space. If that is true, then there is no way for Riker to contact us."

Beverly closed her eyes as the gravity of what Picard said hit her. Silence stretched between them for several minutes, until Beverly was finally able to speak. "If we're inside the displacement fields, then we'll begin to feel the affects within the next two days. We can only exist inside the field for four maybe six days before our bodies shut down. It might not even take that long."

He nodded, "I know." He reached over and grabbed his jacket, pulling it to him. "We'll think of something."

Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears, "I'm scared too."

He wrapped his arm around her and she leaned her head on his chest. "Join the club." He watched the fire crackle and pop, fighting the torrent of emotions running rampant through him. The chances of them returning to normal space was slim at best. If they didn't return within six days, the spatial strain would rip them to shreds. He heard the steady rise and fall of Beverly's chest and his heart tore. He couldn't imagine anything happening to his beloved Beverly. He loved her with his whole being. The fire crackled and he swore to himself that Beverly would leave this place - alive. Sighing, he pulled his jacket up and laid it across the two of them as a blanket.

* * *

><p>Oxox<p>

* * *

><p>..."The following morning we hiked up the river and built a shelter along the bank. While erecting the shelter, I pulled Jean-Luc over twice because he was helping to build the shelter despite the pain. He continually aggravated his chest and could barely move later in the evening. For three days Jean-Luc worked on the transmitter while we collected the necessities for survival.<p>

"Jean-Luc and I were becoming closer everyday, yet a rift still existed between us. I did the best I could to ease his pain, and during the evening we would sit by the fire and discuss everything and nothing at the same time. Eventually, I'd grow tired and fall asleep on his shoulder or chest.

"On the fourth day both, Roven and Posh, died. Sandra and I buried them, and Jean-Luc worked on a device to shield us from the displacement effects. He stayed up for the better part of the night, working on the device by firelight. He was close to finishing it when Sandra passed away at daybreak. I forced myself to wake up and gather some food for Jean-Luc and I. About an hour later I returned, and he was barely conscious. I shook him awake, but he was slipping away from me. He managed to finish and activate the device before collapsing.

"I was afraid he was going to die on me, however, his vitals began strengthening after a day and a half. While he was unconscious, I walked around and quickly determined our boundaries. Whenever I became nauseous I knew it was the displacement effects. We were confined to an area less than half a mile.

"He awoke three days later. We passed the time collecting food and trying to handle our basic needs. For the first couple of days our conversations helped to pass the time before we lapped into silence. The buried tension between us, quickly drifted to the surface erecting a barrier between us. Neither of us were willing to tear the barrier down, however, neither of us could live a moment longer with it between us.

"A week of silence shattered while we were nestled by the fire. We both turned to the other and began to blurt out apologies for our behavior. The apologies died away as our eyes locked. Before I knew it, I was leaning toward him, meeting him half way for a tentative first kiss." A smile grazed her lips...

* * *

><p>oxox<p>

* * *

><p><em>...the fire snapped and crackled as his warm lips met hers. The tentative kiss was kiss was quickly replaced with more demanding ones, until moans were pulled from the other's throats and finally Jean-Luc pulled away, leaving them both gasping for air.<em>

_ Jean-Luc rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes. His voice was thick with emotion, causing his accent to deepen eliciting a tiny shiver to travel up Beverly's spine. "Beverly, is this what you want?"_

_ She responded with a searing kiss, dissolving the last of any doubt. Their hands desperately sought the other's flesh, making short work of the last barrier laying between them..._

* * *

><p>Oxox<p>

* * *

><p>"We made love." She could see the light reflecting in his eyes as he held her softness against his hardness. "We held onto the hope that we would find a way out of the disaster, together. Even if we couldn't find a way out, we still had each other. The illusion we conjured up lasted a few days, then I noticed Jean-Luc's health slipping. He tried to hide his pain, but everyday the dimension we were in took a small part of him away from me. He was becoming physically weaker, though more optimistic about our chances of leaving alive." Beverly paused as she tried to strengthen the sound of her voice.<p>

"The sun was just beginning to rise when I awoke. I found him staring at the sun rise stating how beautiful it was...

"Jean-Luc?"

"I have found a way to return to our time."

Beverly leaned over and kissed him. He rewarded her with a sad smile, "What is it?"

His fingers absently twirled the device in his hand. His eyes caught hers and a tear slipped down his cheek. "I love you."

The raw emotions emanating in his eyes tore at Beverly's heart. Something was wrong! "Jean-Luc," she placed her hand over his, "What's wrong?"

He shook his head, "Nothing." He starred into her eyes as he placed her hand against his face. He then reached up and traced her jaw with his hand.

Beverly's eyes drifted shut as a soft moan escaped from her lips. "I love you, Jean-Luc."

Something cool and metallic touched under her ear. Her eyes snapped open, fixating on Jean-Luc. She opened her mouth to ask what he was doing, but the question died away because she already knew the answer. Only one of them was able to go back. "Jean-Luc..."

"Live with no regrets, love." He leaned in and began to kiss her passionately...

* * *

><p>oxox<p>

* * *

><p>"...I could feel his kiss and then nothing. I woke up on Kalean IV's medical facility. The Dr. Larn couldn't believe that I was Beverly Crusher. I assured him that I was, however, it took almost an hour for him to believe me. He stated the reason he doubted me, was because I had been missing for six months.<p>

"When he told me I was gone for six months, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He proceeded to explain to me that I was found on Kalean's western continent, laying face down on the beach. About thirty feet to down the beach, some of the shuttle lay in ruins and they assumed I crashed there. He could not explain the lack of all calcium in my lower vertebrae, making my lower back became extremely weak and brittle. They were unable to heal or correct the calcium deficiency. Since my return, I have been receiving supplements and therapy, however, I continue to lose calcium out of my body. I believe it has to deal with passing through the dimensions. When Dr. Larn told me about my back, he then proceeded to say that I was a week pregnant and I should terminate the pregnancy. During the pregnancy, my back might snap causing paralysis. Each month the danger to carry the child would increase because of the added weight and pressure on my back.

"Despite his warnings I wanted to carry the child." Beverly felt a sad smile spread across her face. "John was the last piece of Jean-Luc I had. A few days passed, and I was in daze of sorrow and grief when I placed the call to Starfleet Command.

"Admiral Brad Davis received the call. I excused the doctor and spoke to the admiral for the next two hours. I told him that I was not returning to Starfleet, nor did I want my sudden reappearance public knowledge. He inquired about Jean-Luc and the other seven crew members, and I told him about the accident.

..."Are you certain you do not wish to return to Starfleet?"

"Yes. It holds to many memories for me. I want to live in a small community on the outskirts of the Federation and raise my child."

"Child?"

"I am pregnant with Jean-Luc's child."

Shock spread across his face as he tried to assimilate the information. "I see." He stated succinctly. "I shall see to your request personally. I will seal the records pertaining to the mission and our conversation. I will also change your current standing from missing to deceased. I know of a small colony on Danion who is searching for a descent medical doctor. I believe you would easily fit the criteria, if you were interested. Also, the Picard estate was left in your name if anything happened to Picard. What name shall I write in as the owner of the Picard estate?"

My reply was quiet, but profound. "Beverly Picard. Please send me all of the paperwork on the Picard estate and holdings."

"I shall have the paperwork forwarded to Danion. I will also bury the ownership papers to the Picard estate and seal it as well."

"How can I repay you for your help?"

A sad smile spread across his handsome face, "If it were any one but you, I would force you to give a testimony on what occurred during your mission. Even though Captain Picard and I did not always see eye to eye, I owe him far more than you realize. It is my honor to help out him and those he loved."

"Thank you."

He leaned closer to the view screen, "No, it is you whom I should thank for allowing me to help out the famous Beverly Crusher."

Beverly chuckled, "Famous?"

"You should take a course in history Ms. Picard, you might find the last several months fascinating. In the meantime, I shall send a shuttle to Danion for your personal use. You may keep the shuttle as a gift from Starfleet for your service. I will also place your personal belongings in the storage compartments. How much of Jean-Luc's personal belongings would you like stored?"

"Please send his belonging to the estate. I will return to earth and sort through his estate in a few weeks."

"If there is anything else, call my office."

"Thank you again...

* * *

><p>oxox<p>

* * *

><p>"I moved to Danion and purchased this house. Before I established myself as the resident medical surgeon, I traveled back to Jean-Luc's estate. I talked to the master vintner and asked him if he would stay and continue to work for me. I explained to him what transpired when I finished he stated he'd be honored to stay. As far as he was concerned, the vineyard was still owned by a member of the Picard family. He promised that my secret was safe with him.<p>

"I returned to Danion and began to establish my medical practice. I was well liked, however, I kept my privacy. Everyone on the colony wanted to know about my past, and why I was reluctant to talk about it. Eventually people accepted me for who I was, and stopped asking me why a talented doctor would come to Danion. I became a member of the colony, and they helped me immensely when John was first born. When John was two, I met Eric. We became good friends, and he asked me to marry him. I said no, and left the room in tears. He followed me and wrapped his arms around me, and the truth I had kept hidden for three years came pouring out of me.

"At first, Eric didn't know what to say. He left speechless that evening. About a week later he came back and asked me to marry him again. He said that he would love to help raise John and call him his son. I agreed, however, I told Eric that my past was to remain in the past. I didn't want to speak of it, because I wished to live in the present.

"We were married in a small grove on Danion. Eric helped me to overcome the pain of my past with his love. He also treated you as his son."

Beverly looked at the three faces and then turned her face to the window. The evening had quickly turned into night, and the soft glow from the stars was the only light outside. Beverly's eyes remain riveted to the window as her voice dropped below a whisper. "I have loved three men in my life. Jack, Jean-Luc, and Eric. All three men had different personalities and passions. They were all there to pick up the pieces, love and help me." The stars seemed to float by in a rainbow of colors, almost as if they were in warp speed. "I was once told that you have a soul mate, somewhere in the universe." Beverly could see the small smile forming on his lips... "He saved my life with his own. A day, not even an hour goes by without thinking about him." _ ...the excitement carefully hidden in his hazel eyes..._ "I see him far off in the crowd." _...the light scent of his cologne..._ "Hear his voice in my dreams." _...the feel of his body next to mine..._ "Yes, I did love Jack and Eric with my whole heart, however, Jean-Luc didn't just take my heart away - he took my soul." _ ...kisses filled with passion ... _A tear rolled down her cheek..._his rich voice whispering 'I love you'._

* * *

><p>Oxox<p>

* * *

><p>Deanna starred at her old friend. She couldn't imagine enduring Beverly's life. "I am so sorry, Beverly. I know how close you were with Jean-Luc, and how you both tried to deny your feelings in an effort to keep your already complex relationship simpler. To lose him after finally being able to admit your feelings for each other..."<p>

Beverly nodded before she spoke, "It may have been wrong to cut the people out of my life who cared, but that was how I had to move on. I couldn't live in the past, so I rebuilt my future."

Will's deep voice broke in, "I understand what you did, even though I don't think you should have. We were family too."

"I know Will. I often thought about contacting the old senior staff, but I didn't. I decided to leave my past alone."

"Did you ever return to Earth?" Will asked.

"Yes," Beverly turned to John. "You know the two week trip I take every spring to collect my herbs."

John nodded, not trusting his voice to speak.

"I would take the shuttle and return to the Picard vineyards, and take care of the estate. That is why I would not allow you to join me."

"How did you bypass Starfleet's sensors?"

"I didn't. I gave them an ambassadorial code, allowing me to travel to Earth without being questioned."

Will shook his head. "When I became an Admiral, I use to hear the usual rumors told at Headquarters about what 'really' happened to Jean-Luc Picard and Beverly Crusher. The consensus around Starfleet was that the two of you staged the accident and went off to live on an isolated planet. Since I had the clearance, I checked into the incident at Kalean IV. Other than the official story, no record existed. A few years later, I was on my way to see Brad Davis when I overheard two secretaries talking. An older one was apparently training the younger one, though they hadn't seen me. I believe her name was Wendy, stated that when an older lady with red hair named Beverly called Admiral Davis immediately patch it through to him. I walked around the corner as Wendy was saying the transmission and the log of the transmission was not to be recorded. I inquired what she was speaking about, she stated I did not have the clearance. For an instant I wondered if they were speaking about you, but I knew they couldn't be."

"Brad and I became good friends, and we still try to get together once a year."

"Why didn't you tell me who you were?" John interrupted, as his hazel eyes challenged his mothers.

"I did, John. I may not have told you directly, but I did countless times indirectly. Every time you asked how I learned something, about my family, where I was born, where different things came from, I told you the truth. If you compare what I told you with the biography on Beverly Crusher's life, they are identical. The only difference is, I told you details from my childhood, beginning of Starfleet and after I left Starfleet The biography you read on Beverly Crusher deals very little on her childhood and focuses on her career in Starfleet, mainly while on the Enterprise."

* * *

><p>oxox<p>

* * *

><p>The four of them talked for hours. Beverly, Will, and Deanna regaled tales to John about various missions on the Enterprise. Through the stories, John began to see his mother for who she truly was and he began to know a little bit about who his father was. Beverly yawned, "It is past my bed time. Will, Deanna there is a spare bedroom on the first floor, John will show you there. Goodnight." Gingerly, Beverly began to walk toward her room when she stopped and turned around. A brilliant smile lit up her face making her look young again, "Thank you for finding me. I've missed the two of you." With that she left the room and went upstairs.<p>

"Mom?"

Beverly groggily opened her eyes, "John?"

"I'm sorry I woke you."

John was sitting next to her on the bed, "That's alright."

"I..." He looked down at his mom. "I just want to talk."

"About me, or your father?"

A small smile crept over his face, "Both."

Beverly sat up and gave John a hug. "I'm sorry for not telling you the whole truth until now."

He held onto her, gripping her tightly as if his entire existence rested up on her. "I know mom. I know."

She rocked back and forth, holding her son's head. His brown hair beginning to recede like his father, Jean-Luc. She could see Jean-Luc shortly before Jack's death at Walker Keel's party. He was talking with Walker and Ben Zoma, and when she turned toward Jack, Jean-Luc's eyes captured hers making the room around her vanish. She could see his receding hairline, which surprisingly added to his aristocratic features. "I wish you would have been able to meet Jean-Luc."

"Will you tell me something about him?" He pulled away from her. "Something only you would know."

She looked into her son's hazel eyes, Jean-Luc's eyes. "Something only I would know." She thought back to their thirty years of friendship causing a smile to grace her lips as she spoke. "Since you know who I am, you must also know you have a half brother, Wesley Crusher."

He nodded, "Yes."

"Wesley was only fourteen when I was assigned to the Enterprise and he accompanied me. When I reported to the bridge, Wesley came with me. Jean-Luc was furious and wanted him off the bridge, but I informed Jean-Luc that he wasn't on the bridge. He was in the turbolift. He had the hardest time dealing with children, and being on a family ship certainly challenged his personal attitude toward children. Before the destruction of the Enterprise-D, I noticed the change in Jean-Luc's attitude toward children. He no longer feared them, he carried for them.

"He use to keep his emotions hidden behind a mask, except for his eyes. After spending so many years as his friend, he couldn't hide his emotions from me. He was a man of deep passions and convictions, though he kept those passions behind a face of stone allowing only me to see beyond the mask." She smiled as thousands of memories came pouring into her mind. "We always ate breakfast every morning. It was our time together. As a matter of fact, the rumors running about the ship about our relationship..." For three hours Beverly told stories about just the two of them. The instance with the warp bubble, her grandmother's funeral, Ronin and Jean-Luc's jealousy, Kesprit...

* * *

><p>oxox<p>

* * *

><p>"Mom, I think you did the right thing. I'm glad you didn't tell the universe that I was Jean-Luc Picard and Beverly Crusher's son. I would have had a thousand expectations laid upon me. Instead, I was able to grow up and be who I wanted. Though, I wish I would have had the chance to know my father, my real father."<p>

"Now the secret is out, John. You'll have people ask you about your father and I for the rest of your life."

"I know."

"I want you to know, Eric did love you as his own son. However, it never mattered what he said or his influence upon you, because you were your father's son even if he wasn't here. You have his passion, sense of wonder, curiosity, and his love. I wish you would have been able to have Jean-Luc as your father, but if you ever wonder what he was like; look in the mirror."

"Is there anything of his, here?" He asked looking around her room, knowing that there must be something here to remind her of him.

She glanced around the room, as if she too were searching for something. "The only thing of Jean-Luc's I have at the house is," she paused and opened a drawer on her nightstand revealing an old copy of Shakespeare's collected works and a box. "He loved Shakespeare. He could recite whole acts from a variety of plays." Absently, her hand caressed the book. "One afternoon while we sat by the river after making love, he proceeded to recite some of Shakespeare's poetry."

John watched her mother's expression change to a wistful look tempered by years of anguish. "What is in the box?" He asked curiously.

"His Risican flute."

John nodded as he remembered the story about Picard's lifetime experience on Risica in the matter of twenty plus minutes. He wanted to hear more about his father, but he was exhausted and knew his mother must be as well. Finally, he rose. "I'm sorry for keeping you up late, mother. I know it hurts your back if you don't rest for several hours. I just wanted..." He struggled to find the words.

"To find out about your father and learn all the stories I never told you about myself." She answered for him. His response was a child smile, and he leaned down, kissing her cheek. "Goodnight mom."

She watched her son turn, and before he walked through the door she called out. "John." He spun around, hazel eyes focused on her. "I...think you should know that your birth name is Jean Rene Picard. And that the Picard estate is yours, and you may go there any time you wish."

She watched as his eyes filled with tears, and he bit his lip as he spoke trying to keep his voice steady. "Thank you."

Beverly watched her son turn and leave. He was taking the news extremely well, which brought a smile to her lips. John was an extraordinary child and now man. He never surprised her, for he was Jean-Luc's son - brilliant. Though, if he were here she would never admit that to him. She would claim his brilliance came from her. She knew John was easily accepting the truth, which eased the years of tension off her shoulders. There were no more secrets.

Sighing, Beverly tugged the covers a little higher, and closer to her chin as she starred out of the window. All of the stars were bright, though one seemed slightly brighter than the rest. The surrounding stars began to dim and vanish all together until only the one star remained. Beverly blinked and she felt herself floating toward that star. The world around her transformed into a small city...

* * *

><p>Xoxo<p>

* * *

><p>John awoke suddenly. He listened for a reason why he awoke only to hear nothing. He stood up and opened the door. Immediately, John noticed light coming from under her mother's door. He rushed down the hall, praying she hadn't fallen in her sleep. Without thought, he burst into her room and froze. She was laying on her bed with the covers pulled to her chin, hands interlaced on her chest, head toward the window and eyes closed. Cautiously he walked toward, afraid to wake her. As he stepped within a few feet, he noticed the peaceful, almost unearthly expression on her face and his own heart stopped. She was dead. A deep, shuddering breath made its way into his lungs while he tried to stop the tears.<p>

He turned to the window hoping to find peace, instead he saw a distant star become brighter. He starred at the star watching the light from one star overpower the night sky until the light seemed to touch him. The light transformed into the outlines of two figures walking toward him. As they neared him, the images of Jean-Luc Picard and Beverly Howard Crusher became defined. Finally, they stopped thirty feet away. John starred at them in shock. Picard was a young man in Starfleet's dress uniform, accompanied by an equally young Beverly wearing a shimmering blue evening dress. Picard smiled and tilted his head as Beverly blew John a kiss, then they both turned and began walking away.

"Wait!" John yelled as the light vanished leaving a star studded night sky. Not daring to turn around and see his mother, he watched the night sky for hours hoping what he saw wasn't a dream.

"Beverly...John." A voice from downstairs called up.

John jerked awake momentarily disoriented. His neck hurt from falling asleep while watching the stars. Immediately he spun around, thinking about the previous night and his mother. To his horror and shock and then sudden relief the bed was empty. He ran out of the room and down the steps, practically colliding with Deanna.

"Have you seen my mother?"

"No, she hasn't gotten up yet."

"What?" John asked, and then sprinted up the stairs again. "Mom!"

Deanna, Will, and John looked all over the house and surrounding area for Beverly, and were unable to find her. Finally, that evening John gave up and began to tell Will and Deanna about the previous night. He told them he didn't believe anything had happened last night, but as he recounted the tale he wasn't so sure any more.

* * *

><p>Xoxo<p>

* * *

><p>Smiling faces greeted her, and joyous sounds of laughter. Beverly smiled back feeling completely at ease with those around her. As she scrutinized some of the faces, she smiled as she recognized people from her past - Walker Keel, Ben Zoma, Tasha Yar, Sandra Chilton, Jerry Posh, Carlton Roven, Jack Crusher, Eric Sanders...As she walked forward, they cleared away. Finally, they parted completely revealing a young Jean-Luc Picard dressed in Starfleet's finest.<p>

Beverly's heart pounded in her ears as she took the final few steps to him. He smiled and reached for her hand, pulling her to him. Gazing into each other's eyes, they smiled as they leaned toward each other. When their lips touched, the crowd erupted into applause. She leaned back and gazed into his beautiful eyes, "God how I've missed you."

Tears began to fill her eyes as he pulled her body to his, practically crushing her with his embrace. "I love you." He whispered into her hair.

"I love you, too." She murmured against his ear.

Soul mates together at last.

_fin_


End file.
